REASON #16) Blaze the Mascot: Why try when I-5 rival Sonics have the best mascot in the Association in Bigfoot
REASON #15) Washed Up Ex-Sonics: GM Bob Whitsitt tries to relive Sonic glory days in the Rose City by acquiring Shawn Kemp Ruben Patterson and Detlef Schrempf. Det put in some decent work but Kemp was only a shell of Reign Man; a huge blubbery drug abusing shell.
REASON #14) Darius Miles: Arguable proof that God is indeed cruel. When Miles arrived in Pdx he wowed everyone with his the freakish combo of size and specific skill set earning a 6 year $48 million contract extension. He shows flashes of absolute brillinace (i.e. 47 against Denver in 05) and then becomes a no show for the entire '07 season. Pray, meditate and/or hope that we get rid of this career loser.
REASON #13) NBA Draft Day: The Trail Blazers have a checkered history on Draft Day opting for potential over talent. Using a skewed cost benefit analysis system we've landed some sorry players;
2000 NBA DRAFT) Bob Whitsitt picks Eric Barkley at #28, 'Who?' exactly. This draft just plain sucked; 1st pick) Kenyon Martin, 'nuf said 2nd) Stromile Swift, met him nice guy and that's about it 3rd) Darius Miles, See Day #14. Milwaukee came out looking pretty damn clean, Michael Redd with the 43rd.
2001 NBA DRAFT) Our loss named Zach Randolph at #19. In the picture below who would you rather have on the Blazers right now? Tony Parker goes 23rd and Gilbert Arenas is 31st in the 2nd round.
2002 NBA DRAFT) This is where it gets good, Blazers pick a JUCO player named Qyntel at #23 over a Kentucky Wildcat and a national champion from Duke, hmmm..
REASON #12) Losing Danny Ainge: According to my grandfather this is when the club started going down hill, good call gramps.
REASON #11) Paul Allen's Cheap Side; The worlds 19th richest man likes people to think he's struggling to get by. The WAZU dropout bankrupted the Oregon Arena Corporation in hopes of eluding creditors, then asked the broke city of PDX for $ and years ago (Blazer Vision) sued a nursing home that was showing Blazer games to old people and their families. In fact the Blazers were one of the last franchises to get rid of pay-per view broadcasts. Allen is the best owner in all of sports, the EMP is amazing and how cool does the team plane Blazer-One sound? But come on, pay your bills like the rest of us.
REASON #10) Portland plays Vancouver; The Blazers choked big time in 1995 when they lost to the Grizzlies in the franchise's inagural game. That's not why they make the list; the night Clyde's jersey got retired the Blazers dropped to the Canadian franchise. A loss to any team on Glyde's night is unacceptable, but the Grizzlies? You know the front office was like, 'Let's retire Clyde when we play a crappy team, how about Vancouver?'. That must of fired up the Grizz and they smoked us and then moved to Memphis. Anyone else remember when Duckworth was there that night? He was so huge he got a stool instead of a chair at center court for the ceremony. My Dad used to work in a shop and Duckworth would stop by and take home these huge wooden spools for his pet panther or something. Anyways, thanks Clyde.
CHEER UP: CLYDE'S TOP 10 THROWDOWNS
REASON 9) 6/7/93; Blazer draft pick Drazen Petrovic dies in a car accident in Germany. Petrovic's 18 months in Portland were difficult on a personal level for the Croatian baller, Coach Adelman had him riding pine for the first time in his life. Petrovic was eventually sent to the Nets where he made 3rd team All NBA the spring before he died and was eventuallly inducted into the HOF in 2002. This guy was for real; in his 2 full seasons with the Nets he averaged 20+ a night and shot over .5oo, crazy for a guard. Petrovic gets props because he opened the NBA 'door' to international players and was a Blazer from back in the day when once you suited up for Portland you were always a part of Rip City.
REASON 8) First Round Mediocrity 1992-Current; Since Mike torched Clyde in '92 the Blazers have a first round record of 15 and 26 (.576). Since 1992 in the first round the Blazers have been swept 3 times, won only a single game 3 times and have ZERO! wins in elimination games with two tries. Portland first round futility was at an all time high after being swept by Shaq and Kobe in consecutive years, '01 and '02.
REASON 7) Memorial Day Miracle 1999; Sean Elliot and his bum internal organ hit a game winning trey over every last inch of Sheed in Game 2 of the 1999 WCF. That basket gave the Spurs their FIRST lead of the game after they had been down by as many as 18 points as late as the 3rd quarter. After 2 narrow road losses the Blazers were swept at home and San Antonio went on to easily beat the Knicks for their first title. I watched Game 2 in Seaside at that old pizza place in the alley on the south side off of the main drag. If you don't remember where you were then get off of Larry's page.
Imagine if Augmon hadn't gone for the steal..
REASON 6) 2000 Season, Trying to Replace the Irreplaceable; I'm still waiting for this to be called off as a bad joke but.. After calling a consecutive 2,522 Blazer games Bill Schonley is replaced by a WNBA broadcaster named Brian Wheeler. The Schonz had been the only radio man Blazer faithful had known until Wheeler, not an entirely bad broadcaster I guess, was put in place by the front office for no damn logical reason. Schonely is a class act, not only have I seen him rolling a Cadillac he has gone very much out of his way to give me his autograph, two more reasons for you to like him. Blazer play-by-play was supposed to be Schonely's as long as he wanted it; we were truly privileged to have a talent of his magnitude and an abrupt dismissal was no way to say, 'Thank You'. The other broadcaster, known as Brian Wheeler, are we really supposed to call this guy wheels(?), grew up a Lakers fan and called the 'action' for the King's WNBA team before Portland. Come on. Anyways for Bill's sake shop here and buy this.
REASON 6) 2000 Season, Trying to Replace the Irreplaceable; I'm still waiting for this to be called off as a bad joke but.. After calling a consecutive 2,522 Blazer games Bill Schonley is replaced by a WNBA broadcaster named Brian Wheeler. The Schonz had been the only radio man Blazer faithful had known until Wheeler, not an entirely bad broadcaster I guess, was put in place by the front office for no damn logical reason. Schonely is a class act, not only have I seen him rolling a Cadillac he has gone very much out of his way to give me his autograph, two more reasons for you to like him. Blazer play-by-play was supposed to be Schonely's as long as he wanted it; we were truly privileged to have a talent of his magnitude and an abrupt dismissal was no way to say, 'Thank You'. The other broadcaster, known as Brian Wheeler, are we really supposed to call this guy wheels(?), grew up a Lakers fan and called the 'action' for the King's WNBA team before Portland. Come on. Anyways for Bill's sake shop here and buy this.
REASON #4) Zach Randolph; July 16th, 1981 Zach Randolph is born and the Blazers are 20 years away from making a horrible mistake. To me Randolph represents the Jail Blazer image minus winning games, what can be more worse then that? Why do people forget this guy has zero All Star appearances and an $84 million contract? I'm not going to get into Randolph's past or how funny it is to watch him play defense in person. Trade him for ANY (minus Bonzi Wells) expiring contract and a late second round draft pick. The picture say's it all, thanks Bob Barker.
REAON #3) Traded All Stars; On February 14th 1995 Clyde and his 20 pts 6 reb, and 5 ast per were traded to the Houston Rocket's for Otis Thorpe 14pts 8 reb 2 ast, didn’t we deserve something more then that for our Dream Teamer? Well, Clyde earned the right to get out of the Rose City and Thorpe had a solid overall career but
you don't trade Clyde the Glyde for a guy named Otis. Forget the context and remember the end result; 2 time All Star Rasheed Wallace is swapped for Theo Ratliff and Shareef Abdur-Rahim from ATL. Reef never fit into the system still hasn't won with the Queens and Theo had one great year, re-signed and fell of the face of the world. I just figured out this guy is on the Celtics. It was time to part with everyone's favorite towel throwing Technical foul machine but this deal spoiled on the Blazers. Finally, trading away Jermaine O'neal for, screw it, why did we trade O'neal? 
THAT AIN'T RIGHT MAN
REASON #2) 2000 WCF Game 7
If you don't remember where you were watching the 2000 WCF's game 7 don't call yourself a Blazer fan, I was feeling lucky the last year we had seson tickets PDX was gonna win it all. I did forget how hard Pip got crossed over by Bryant before the alley-oop and how truly close we were; the Knicks were waiting for the West's champion to go beat them in Madison Square Garden and finish off the series in 2 more games. Instead we still haven't recoverd from this loss.
In the last 18 years the teams we have lost to in the WCF or Finals have been full blown dynasties; 89-90 Finals Detroit Pistons 4-1, 90-91 WCF Lakers 4-2, 91-92 Finals Chicago 4-2, 98-99 WCF Spurs 4-0, 99-00 WCF Lakers 4-3. One reoccuring theme in all of those Blazer teams has been the abscence of a dominant center; the last time we had one he won it all, thanks Bill keep doing the damn thing. Duckworth could not cut it but we'll always love him then we got Sabas on the decline I do feel honored to have seen him play at all. We're about to get a 'once in a decade center' in Ohio State's Greg Oden and stop wondering what a premiere big looks like in Blazer black.
Michael Jordan's Check List early 1980s;
Average a triple double senior year of highschool and be named a McDonald All American, check. Become the ACC freshman of the year at UNC, check. Knock down a jumper to win the National Title Game, check. Win the Naismith and Wooden awards, check. Win an Olympic gold medal, check.
Trail Blazer Check List Circa 1984;
Post a regular season record of 48-34, check. Lose to Phoneix in the first round, check. Decide to draft by position instead of talent, check. Ignore recomendation of Coach Bob Knight to draft Michael Jordan as a center if you need a center, check. Draft Sam Bowie, oh God.
We coulda, woulda, shoulda had Jesus in sneakers, that's the only way to put it. Imagine Clyde and MJ on the wings at Memorial Coliseum.. The Blazers could have burnt toast at PG won more O'brien trophies then there are broken bones in Sam Bowie's legs. Really though, you cannot blame Pdx for making this call, but sometimes it feels good to let it all off of your chest. Blazer fans remember how far we have come and don't ever forget how much it sucks to lose.
MICHAEL'S REVENGE:
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